10.26.07

I’ve been invited to a formal dinner on my next trip to Germany – What do I do?

Posted in Cross Cultural at 11:52 pm by Administrator

First off, some general advice – Before going to any country, consul the “Kiss, Bow or Shake Hands” series of books by Terri Morrison and Wayne Conaway (http://www.getcustoms.com/2004GTC/index.html). EVERY international business person should have a copy of this book readily available. Read it before every business trip to cover issues like meals, protocol, etc. Based on my experience living and doing business in Europe, Latin America and Asia, this book is almost always spot-on. I have minor quibbles but it’s an invaluable guide.

Now to Germany. German formal dinners are mercilessly formal. First off, you should bring  a gift. It could be something from your home area (for example wine from Californians). If you don’t have that consider flowers – always an odd number.
When you sit down, you should introduce yourself to you neighbors. (Men – be sure to help the ladies, particularly on your left, with their chairs.) You will start off with sparkling wine (Sekt as it is referred to there). The host will introduce every person at the table and make a (short but occasionally overly-long) speech why the event is taking place. The host will make a formal introduction toast. You should look into the eyes of all of the people around you and point your glass toward them (actual clinking of glasses is not that common). Only after you have looked everyone in the eye, may you take a small sip.

You will find lots of tableware and glasses. The same general rule applies as everywhere – work in from the outside. My personal advice is to watch what everyone else does and copy that. There will be multiple courses – so pace yourself. Table talk should be uncontroversial – you can talk about family, weather, etc. Stay away from politics (and sports if you are into European soccer).
If you are the guest of honor or if you are seated to the left of hostess, you should make a toast at the end of the meal. In the toast, you should profusely thank the hosts for their hospitality, compliment them on the food and make some comment on the evening (why the dinner was held). Again you raise your glass, look at  everyone in the eye and then drink.

Most of the time, after dinner drinks and coffee will be served after the table breaks up. Don’t rush out – it is rude. Most of the time, the groups break down into men and women. If you’re a woman and you don’t want to be excluded from “boys” club, just join them. But be aware that most people will start smoking afterward and the men will often break out the cigars.

Somewhere around mid-night, the dinner will break up. Remember if you have had a lot to drink (quite probable) ask your hosts to call you a taxi. German drinking-while-driving penalties are quite severe.

Permalink